Are You Settling?

Before I start this blog, I would like to share an assignment our youth pastor gave to us last night in CTW… Pull out a piece of paper and pen. On one half of the paper write the things that you will not tolerate in a relationship. On the other half write down the standards and beliefs that you have and won’t compromise in a relationship. As well as what you want in a relationship. Once you complete that exercise, carry it with you. It will serve as a reminder to you when you meet someone for example who is handsome/pretty as they want to be, but they have a TERRIBLE attitude, and that’s one of the things you won’t tolerate.. Why try to get with them?

Please, please, pretty please don’t put things you aren’t willing to do yourself on that list. You want him to be faithful but you still want to talk to all of your “friends” too? (I’ve had my share of faithful and loyalty within myself so I’m only speaking from experience). You get mad because you want her to answer every time you call her phone, but when you’re just sitting around chilling and don’t feel like answering, it’s cool right? You want him to stop smoking, but you’re hitting it with him and rolling his blunts? (Ladies, you can be his “ride or die” girl without doing things you don’t believe in)..

We can probably all recall a time when we compromised ourselves for someone else, in friendship or relationship. We did something we had no business doing and we wouldn’t think twice about if we weren’t so caught up in who they were and their “swagger and togetherness”as my sister Tiana would say. Don’t EVER compromise your beliefs, morals, and values for the happiness or satisfaction of someone else. Your beliefs, morals, and values make up who YOU are, so when you compromise that for somebody else you’re leaving yourself OPEN for them to take that and whatever else they want.. It’s like going into a store for an hour, leaving your keys in the ignition, full tank of gas, Audi A6, with the door open. You left your possession in the hands of someone else.

Because in my relationship my boyfriend was extremely patient with me and my process, and I wish I would’ve done a better job with my patience during his.. I have to encourage you to do the same. I went thru a process during our relationship that nobody but Jesus could help me with. I couldn’t depend on my friends, family, or him to help me with it. I couldn’t even articulate it to them. Sometimes you will find someone who you care about alot but they too are going thru a process, you see their potential and the promise God has over their life, but right now they are pushing you away slowly because you can’t fix it for them like you want to. Stop and ask yourself, am I compromising my standards and my beliefs for this person or am I waiting to see what God has promised me be manifested thru them? I can’t officially tell you whether or not you are settling in your friendships or relationship.. But I pray you seek to find out. You are priceless, so don’t let other people try to devalue you. I love you and God does too!

I encourage you today to journal frequently, when you look back over previous entries you will be amazed as your growth!


Cherise 🙂


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