I pray this doesn’t offend anyone, but I”m sure it will. This blog is not intended to hurt anyone’s feelings, but to give my outlook and hopefully encouage some thought.
So as I go down my twitter newsfeed I see alot of tweets like “these females out here need to learn how to play their roles” or “he’s doing too much, play your role”… Roles are for actors. When you act, you are not yourself. You may identify with the character you’re playing, however, you’re simply taking on someone else’s life and portraying it. The character’s life may be similar to yours and even be in a similar situation yet you have to find a way to make it different, otherwise you’re just getting on stage or on a screen and letting the audience see a day in your life..
The question I would like to pose is… In our relationships are we playing “roles” or are we being real? When we first meet someone we’re interested in, we may do a bit extra. We may try to put a little makeup on or wear a cute outfit when we know we’re going to see that person to keep the initial interest.. We’re trying to make them see that we’re girlfriend or boyfriend material by the way we look, speak, walk, and act. What we’re really doing is painting a picture of the what we want them to see or what think that person wants, not being real with ourselves and to them. Are you so caught up in trying to paint a picture of what you believe a girlfriend or boyfriend looks like that you forget what you look like?
Now when I say what you look like, I’m not referencing your physical body. I’m referencing your spirit and your character.. Some of us try so hard to create ourselves as this “all together” person for someone else, but when they realize who you really are… They leave. Ladies especially, stop trying to make yourself someone you aren’t for these men. If they can’t stand the things you do, the people you’ve placed yourself around, and the gifts that you have…can they really stand you? After pondering over this question we’ll do something like this “oh maybe he’s right, maybe I do need to stop going here and hanging out with my bestfriend so I can cuddle with him on Friday nights, and I need to lose some weight because I don’t want to find someone with a better body.” STOP IT NOW! Of course there are circumstances where you do realize you want to change or improve some things about yourself for YOU not for them… But this is what the “play your role” mindset does. You start feeling as if you’re not good enough and you have to compete and constantly up your game because for an actor.. there is always an UNDERSTUDY who could easily take your place.
BE YOU. If someone can’t accept all of you for who you are, don’t try to continue on with that person. Don’t settle for a “play your role” mindset urge yourself to do better and to be better. You’re worth more than that friends. When you start playing roles you lose yourself. You often get stuck trying to figure out which version of you is the ORIGINAL; not the copy. Playing roles doesn’t just happen in relationships but in friendships and even with family members. I’ve been someone who played roles, I talked to alot of guys who played theirs well, and have walked away from friendships because of the role playing. But then I met a young man who I love so very much because I had to be my true self with him; he could see right through my ACT. Once I stopped trying to play roles and surrended my search for a relationship to God, I found my soulmate. Why? Because at some point I had to get to a point where I threw away my script and started living for HIM so that my soulmate could find me in HIM.
I encourage you to surrender your life to God, every thing will fall into it’s place in His Divine order. It won’t be easy and obstacles will come your way, but with HIM ALL things are possible. Let Him do His thing, the outcome will be much better than what we could’ve done.