You go so hard for other people that you’ve almost lost yourself in the process. You are so busy checking up on everyone else; but who is checking on you? You love your friends, but sometimes when playing the mom or dad role all the time, your energy gets low. Before you know it, you start snapping out of no where. You’re so used to being seen as the unbreakable rock that you begin to think you’re unbreakable too. You forget that you still need to be poured into too. You want to talk to your boo about it, but he’s trying to build his empire (which comes with its own set of struggles) that he either doesn’t answer the phone or he’s burdened with his own struggles so he needs your ear and heart too. So you’re stressed. You are dealing with all of this on top of school, work, and trying to build your own empire. You don’t know yourself anymore. You just want someone, anyone to save you from yourself.
You’re struggling with so much, for yourself and for other people, mean while God is tugging at your heart. He keeps knocking at the doors of your heart, but you can’t hear the knocking because your heart is so cluttered with all the things you won’t give it to him. You’re like the juggler in the circus, you are constantly given all these balls but after 5, you can no longer handle them. You forgot about God. You forgot about YOU because all of that clutter consumes you.
“Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you” – 1 Peter 5:7.
The lovely thing about God is that he never stops knocking. We go into these processes where we try to “find ourselves”. Truth is, we were never really lost. All the clutter just clouded the mirror we kept looking it. The mirror was really just steamy, but you didn’t have the right towel to clean it off. That’s why Jesus keeps knocking. He has that towel! His towel isn’t magic like the acts we see at the circus. His towel is miraculous. If you would stop trying to be a “savior” and let the Savior save you, you’ll stop drowning. You’ll start living. He’ll start tugging on your heart and you’ll see Him wanting you to prosper. You’ll stop being in pursuit of you, because you’ll find yourself in Him.
So right now, go pour your heart out in Him. Don’t stop at check your phone before you do. Instagram, Twitter, bae, etc can wait. This is an important moment. Don’t leave anything out. Then once you’re done venting, just stop and listen to Him. Listen to the knock and then let Him in. He’s pursuing you – end the chase tonight.
I love you,