As I was reflecting on my previous relationships or “talkships” the other day I realized a lot. It’s so important to reflect, because without reflection there is no growth. Without that reflection I would not have seen that I really wasn’t having fun. I was trying to so hard to find a good relationship that I was busy checking things off my list.
I had this idea of the perfect relationship and that’s what I chased after. But I didn’t find it. I would rush in because I wanted to get to the “good part” of it. I wanted cute thoughtful dates that didn’t cost a ton. I wanted And I wanted someone to tell my goals to without being judged or put down for them. I wanted someone that I could share my faith with. Someone that I could be myself with. Someone that it would just be fluid and fun with.
I know I say this all the time, but stop settling for someone that you know isn’t for you. By doing so you’re putting off the person that God has for you (and them) by occupying time that isn’t really even yours. Doesn’t mean they aren’t good people, that just means they aren’t for you. Don’t let your past make you believe that you cannot have the guy of your dreams. Nor allow your future to make you believe that if you stay with them they’ll change or grow into the person you want them to be.
So, get to know people. Dating is simply the process of finding the person you’re meant to be with. So don’t commit before you really get to know them. All their quirks, strengths, and weaknesses. A great friend of mine “No need to rush anything. It’s best to take things slow, relax, and enjoy the journey. Don’t worry so much about the destination that you forget to enjoy yourself”.
I love you and so does He,
Sometimes we get caught up in when things will happen. We want so much out of life. We want to be ambitious, successful, but most of all we want to be HAPPY. We want to be the best at all that we can. But sweetheart, it may not happen on your time schedule. And I know, you’re like me, you’ve thought about where you want to be in 5 years over and over (because they ask you at church and every family cookout). You’ve thought about the turn up you and your squad will have after you get the email that you’ve landed your dream job. You’ve thought about how you want to be proposed to on Christmas right next to the tree. I can’t forget how beautiful your apartment at 25 will be with a spectacular view of Cali, ATL, or Chicago. But what if it doesn’t happen exactly when or how you want it to?
A few days ago I found myself confused, sad, and sort of depressed. Before I came home, I had a few internship offers, a guaranteed car, a rocky sisterhood, and a game changer. When I got home, all four seemed to shift. I turned down all of the internships (except one 😉) because I knew they weren’t for me. My car was dead and I wasn’t sure if my mom and I would be able to pay the possible cost. I got a little caught up in thinking the game changer would want someone else because of distance (to think I almost messed that up smh). I felt worthless. I felt like I wasn’t walking in my purpose. I wasn’t speaking or doing a conference like last year.
What I didn’t realize was that I was trying to operate in my timing and trust my own LIMITED understanding. I couldn’t see that on Tuesday I would start what I believe will be my best internship yet. I couldn’t see that my relationship with my “bros” would mend itself. My car would be less than I thought. That the game changer is everything and more that I could have asked for. And that God would show Himself stronger than ever – in HIS own timing.
Is it hard waiting? YES! Do we want to give up our plans so He can do better than we ever imagined? Yes, but no. But the reason you should is because His timing is PERFECT (2 Samuel 22:31/Psalms 18:30) As you could see, mine, yours, and everybody else’s is flawed. I wish I could tell you when or how, but if I did would you really trust Him? Nah. So chill out and watch Him work.
I love you and so does He,
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding.” – Proverbs 3:5
“Whoever trusts in his own mind is a fool, but he who walks in wisdom will be delivered” – Proverbs 28:26
“And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up” – Galatians 6:9