Most of you have heard it before that most relationships end because of lack of communication. So most of us decided that we would call or FaceTime our significant other 24/7 because we thought that would make us stay together. We thought gifts and cute dates would be the key to longevity because that’s what we saw. We believed that long paragraphs in our text messages would ensure success, because after all, we can screenshot what they say for permanence. And while all these things are lovely, they are nothing without foundation. “A house without a foundation will roll away when the rain comes”.
So many times I’ve said that the people in my past relationships or situationships were my friends. But they weren’t. Don’t confuse spending consistent time with someone as being their friend. I thought because we hung out and talked on the phone that that would qualify them as my friend. But instead, they were just people I was dating. I didn’t have the foundation built on having quality conversation that’s deeper than likes and dislikes. Quality conversation is built through sharing experiences that grow deeper than surface level. If you all don’t have good conversation what do you really have?
Too many people are replacing text messages and sex with conversation. You know how to ride but you don’t know how to ride the waves of the trials of a relationship. You’re quick to throw in the towel, but you wouldn’t do that with your friend. Why? Because you would be dually invested. You want the best for them so there are times where you place their needs ahead of your desires. When you’re in a relationship with your best friend you don’t have to worry about who is calling his phone, what he’s doing when you’re not around, and who he’s flirting with. Instead your trust is deeper than a title, it’s established early on. So you have no problem letting him lead. You’re not stressed when he’s out with his friends calling him every hour.
So the next time you’re debating on pursuing a relationship with someone.. Ask yourself, are they really my friend first? Although it’s a learning process in long distance relationships friendship is essential. Because you don’t have in person date nights, you have phone/FaceTime calls, trust, and creativity.
As always, I love you and so does He.